Frequently Asked Questions

 Mediation is a dispute resolution process that helps people to take in other’s perspectives and concerns, explore common ground, and collaboratively craft solutions that satisfy all parties involved.  A mediator guides the conversation, encouraging parties to explore their own interests and goals in a respectful and productive way. The mediator remains neutral and does not make recommendations, give advice, or impose decisions.  At the end of a mediation, a written agreement may be drafted, reviewed, and signed by the parties.  

No.  Mediation is a voluntary process, so the other person (party) must first agree to mediate.  

[In a few instances, mediation can be mandatory, e.g. when an employer requests that two employees mediate a problem that affects other co-workers.  In such a case, both parties are required to show up to mediation.  However, they are not required to reach an agreement.] 

 Assuming that all parties have agreed to mediation, each person will have an intake conversation with a mediator.  The purpose is for the mediator to hear each party’s perspectives on the situation and issues, and to understand what each party’s needs and mediation goals are.   

 In a nutshell, mediation offers each party space and time to communicate about a particular concern(s) they experience in a confidential setting.  Individuals take turns listening and responding to one another.  They contribute to brainstorming and evaluating possible solutions and participate in crafting an agreement that works for them.   

We set aside 2 hours for a session.  Sometimes, it takes less than that.  Other times, folks need more time and may schedule a second or third session. 

 Mediation often ends with a written agreement, which the parties create, and the mediator writes.  Sometimes, there is a verbal (oral) agreement.  Other times still, a session may end without agreement. In such a case, the parties may opt for another mediation session, try communicating on their own, go through the legal system, or simply agree to disagree and leave with a better understanding of each other’s perspectives.  

 Mediation has a number of benefits.  First off, it is a confidential process so parties can feel safe that what is said in the room stays there.  It is a guided process, and parties move through a structure which can be very helpful when dealing with difficult discussions.   Parties can be creative and craft agreements that work well for everyone and which each individual feels confident they can uphold.  

 No.  A mediator is not a decision maker, nor do they give their opinions or any kind of advice.  If you are seeking a decision maker for your situation, you are looking for an arbitrator or a judge.  

 Yes.  Conflict coaching might be a good option to try.  In this process, a coach can help you become more skilled at dealing with the conflict at hand or to broaden your conflict management awareness and toolkit for future use.   

 No, mediation is not therapy.  The goal of mediation is to resolve a specific conflict in a practical way.  It is future and solutions-focused and seeks to improve interactions and avoid similar frictions in the future.  Unlike therapy which is a longer-term process, mediation usually requires one or a few sessions to resolve a conflict.  Moreover, mediators are neutral managers unlike therapists who are advocates of sorts for their patients.   Further, the mediator does not explore deeper psychological underpinnings of a dispute, as a therapist would.